Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Valient Thorr add another Mastodon show in Paris

Valient Thorr add another show with Mastodon in Paris, France @ Trabendo on July 6th.  It will be Valient Thorr's first show in Paris, so they are excited, and want French girls to come and sweep them off their feet, and feed them, and love them, and hang them up to dry.  Bon Swa.

bad/awesome flixxx review: The Green Slime

ok, got another one for ya.  The Green Slime.  This was a pretty good watch.  I did feel myself starting to get fidgety tho.  I totally could have passed out if i wanted to.  But i was on a mission to see this thing thru.  Sort of like MST3K.  Actually, i just looked it up, and this was to be the very first movie that Mystery Science Theater 3000 watched up on the Satellite of Love.  The film has very advanced forethought for the technology of the future.  The problem is everyone is so 50's wholesome.  Its like if the cast for "Lassie" did Star Trek.  Way ahead of its time, but also cheesy on purpose.  Bonus: the theme song "The Gree-een Sli-ime" is sung by ol Tom Jones.

Monday, June 22, 2009

bad/awesome flixxx review: 2019- After the Fall..., Revenge of the Ninja

been catching up on some of those other B flicks i've been downloading.  the first one that i watched is called "2019: After the Fall of New York".  The Euracs (coalition of europe, asia, and africa) have destroyed the US w/ a nuclear weapon.  The president is reforming the States secretly in Alaska.  This world is shit, so they are sending a bunch of dudes to a distant star to live.  But since no chicks can have babies anymore, the Pres enlists this dude Parcival to go to the remains of NYC (a la "Escape from New York") and find a rumored fertile babe.  Plenty of cyborgs, mutants, midgets, demolition derby fight to the deaths, rats, knights on horseback, and laser crossbow rifles to go around.  This one has it all.  Totally shitty and totally hilarious.  Recommended.

the next flick i checked out was a childhood favorite of Voiden and Lucian Thorr.  Its called "Revenge of the Ninja".  This one's about a dude who's whole family gets slaughtered back home except for his son, so a business partner convinces him to get away from the old country and move to the US to become an art dealer?!?  Anyway, without spoiling the whole thing, the ninja gets his US life ruined and figures out who the real bad guy is, and decides he needs revenge.  The dialogue is shit, but the action scenes are amazing.  Including the one where the ninja art dealer sees these dudes stealing these statues out of his art gallery.  a 20 minute fight scene starts and this dude ends up getting dragged down the street by a fucking van, and still kicks the shit out of all the thugs.  Totally Awesome.  Bonus cameo by Oddjob from 007 as a rapist henchman.

more of these coming soon.  and if anyone gives a shit, i'm having an awesome time in France.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

BUSTED: the new "man arm" pose

yo, so last month before we split to come to europe, i noticed a trend in all the magazines in the states.  if you're a dude on the cover, the new thing for photographers to have you to do is cross your arms the wrong way.  maybe its to puff out muscles that you don't have.  i don't know, but either way, you're all busted looking stupid.  here's my proof.  white background, cross arms in tight.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Thursday, June 18, 2009

bad/awesome flixxx review: the Wraith, & trailers

so, we are in Hossegor, France.  Up the beach from Biarritz, which is way south.  Almost on the border of Spain.  Been having a lovely week here, and we have another one to go.  Demoed new Valient Thorr songs, and basically have been enjoying a bit of a holiday, drinking, celebrating NightWolf's 30th and what have you.  I've also been watching a ton of B movies that ive been downloading that you can't find anywhere.  That, and checking out upcoming movie trailers.  here are some reviews:
The Wraith.  Randy Quaid, Charlie Sheen, and Opie's brother Clint Howard.  1986 flick about the ghost of a chicks boyfriend and a fry cooks brother who comes back to slaughter the gang who killed him by drag racing them, beating them, and having them slam into him and then reforming his Dodge Turbo Interceptor by the means of some space magic.

and here are some of my impressions of the new flicks that are coming out soon:
Sherlock Holmes: goin for it.  pretty much anything with RDJr in it these days is gold.
the Cove:  looking awesome.  I don't like it when they treat dolphins poorly.  im there.
Moon:  Sam Rockwell, & creepy 2001 sci fi story?  nuff said!  im there.
The Road:  Cormac McCarthy's book made for silver screen.  Best book i read last year, its like Mad Max but no car.  End of the world, and a dad is protecting his son.  Totally There.
Shutter Island:  maybe a stretch here, but its like Wicker Man w/ a crazy house.  Creepy "you'll never escape" type shit.  Maybe a renter, but i bet it still rules.  No reason to waste my time writing about dogshit.  Ill be reviewing more B movies as the week goes by.  Stay tuned for Euro Tour pixx, and Guarden Thorr is back in the states working on a Mastodon/VT Tour Video that should be out this week as well.  Bon Swa!